The Silence

Silence was something that meant extreme discomfort to me before I got sick. Now, I realize how many different types of silence there just might be. I don't plan on learning them all but too much noise causes me agony so those who care the most generally try to err on the side of silence. Generally, I prefer a light silence punctuated by occasional quiet speech. Better yet, I like a nice bit of music in the background that is Pearl Jam more often than not but might also be Schubert or Beethoven.

Unfortunately, this level of noise is very fragile. Melissa doesn't complain about how my disabilities affect her so I won't complain about how her hearing affects me. Let's just say that she went to a few hard rock concerts before she learned to consider the idea of ear plugs. After all, she was going to the concert to experience the loud music, which neurologists have described as producing a euphoric effect of its own, beyond the experience of the specific band. I am a lyrics sort of guy. If a song has a melody pleasant to my ears and lyrics that touch me in some way, I'm going to enjoy it. Therefore, sexually supercharged heavy metal lyrics do very little for me. I learned to enjoy the music because Melissa has loved it for so long. Hopefully, you can understand why very little in the way of rap or hip hop appeals to me melodically or lyrically. Then again, I do find some "beats" interesting with the way a complex enough beat can approach a melody.

I didn't bring up Melissa's hearing as a complaint. The fact is that I have very good and unfortunately fragile hearing. We've long since worked out some of the conflicts involved. When she comes home, I will likely have music playing or the TV running at the minimum enjoyable volume. Our dear babies will rush off to greet her noisily and attempt to convince her that they haven't been fed. Just the noise of the door opening and someone walking around feels violent. What was once music or a TV show feels like more chaos because I can't hear it well enough to follow it. Usually, I turn it off until I'm used to the noises of having another human being around. I don't know everything that Melissa does but she makes the transition easier for both of us.


Some silences are never anything but sad. I just read a semi-reliable source reporting that Sylvester Stallone is dead. Hopefully, I'll read otherwise somewhere before publishing but I doubt even TMZ would foul this one up. I know that the Rocky movies don't count as fine cinema where most people are concerned but I liked them. There was something about a movie where you knew that the good guy was going to take his beating and then get up and win. It made it easier for a few hours to get up after my metaphorical beatings. Maybe it was easier to get up from them overall.

Far too many people thought of him as a dumb guy because of the way he spoke but that was a disability. The man overcame disability in all its aspects to become rich and famous. Overcoming disability isn't just a matter of getting over the physical barriers. People looked at him differently and looked down on him as a first impulse. It takes guts to go out and deal with life knowing this ahead of time. Personally, I thought his manner of speaking was something learned for the role of playing a boxer who had been hit in the head too many times so I never thought to look down on him.

In any case, I admired Stallone even if just a bit for showing us how it's done. Now he's gone in a flurry of icons that are leaving this world. Rest in peace, Mister Stallone. You did good, kid!


Late update: It was a prank. I'm glad that we've been spared another death.